The concept of beauty

In my tender preteen years a boy in my class made up a nickname for me that would forever haunt me. It wasn't particularily clever, nor did it catch on with the rest of the class. However it made a play on the fact that I had a double-chin. I have since then been very self-concious about that and my appearance in general. So much that when I graduated the norwegian equivalent to high school I made the choice to drop my dream at the time, which was becoming an actress. I simply knew that I didn't have the looks to make it and I saw little point in putting in all that time and effort and then achieve nothing.

A year ago, almost to the day, a middle-aged woman took the stage in Glasgow, auditioning for a national talent show. A woman who, if she didn't think it herself, had probably been told again and again by others that she would never make it. Not because she didn't have what it takes in terms of talent, but because her talent wasn't wrapped in the package the world expects it to be. On that day she wowed three judges and the crowd behind them did a standing ovation. When it aired a couple of months later she became an overnight world-wide sensation. The world's eyes were opened.

It is not my intention to compare my story to that of Susan Boyle [1][2][3][4][5]. I am fairly sure I made the right choice not to pursue my acting dream. Over six years have passed since I made the decision, and I am still searching to find my true purpose in life. I don't believe acting was that purpose.

But what links me to Susan is the subject of beauty. After clicking the youtube link my friend sent me last April, and watching Susan's Glasgow audition, which moved me tremendously, I immediately showed it to a friend, who made a comment about her beauty, or lack of as it was. But is Susan actually ugly? I ask because when I look at this woman, that is honestly not what I see. I see something in her that just shines through, in her eyes, in her smile. And that makes her beautiful to me. I know it's a cliché to say that beauty comes from within, but I think there is a reason why it is a cliché. Because there's a lot of truth in that saying.

When I reached the norwegian equivalent to jr. high there was a boy in my class who was physically good looking, however his rotten personality made him look utterly revolting to me, so much that I couldn't believe there had been a point where I had considered him attractive. Whenever I look at him, even when I see pictures of him, all I see is this hideous grin on his face, his teeth gritted together while his mouth remains as open as the face muscles allow. No matter what that is what I see when I see his face.

It is the complete opposite with Susan. Like me, she has the double-chin, the grey in her hair and we both have the not-so-desired physique. But when I look at her, I see beauty. Not the conventional kind, but the kind that truly matters. It shines through her.

And when I look into the mirror, and I take off the "glasses" that only focuses on individual faults and lacks, and I look at the whole person who is staring back at me, I can even call myself beautiful. Sure there are plenty of photos of me that I wish never saw daylight, but even conventional beauties have their off days. A bad angle, some unfortunate lighting, clothes that doesn't compliment them. If we were to keep the critical "glasses" on all the time, then we would quickly realize that no one, not even the world proclaimed beauties out there will truly measure up.

Our perseption of beauty is truly distorted.